http://www.sleeptalkinman.blogspot.com/ Don't care if it is real or not, it's fucking funny.
"Flap's on fire. Your flap's on fire! Chili in the vagiiiiina. I'm a bad bad boy."
"Potato bags. I can't find my potato bags. I need them! [desperately] Who's got my potato bags? Oh, fuck it! I'll have to use something else."
"I haven't put on weight. Your eyes are fat."
"Elephant trunks should be used for elephant things only. Nothing else."