Funny quotes from online chat

[skeletor]

http://bash.org/?top

They are fucking hilarious.

[BlacKBlazE]

Lmao alot of them were funny, Can't believe i spent 20 minutes reading all that

[skeletor]

Theres more than 1 page.

Couldn't stop laughing at this one:

<JoshtheRipper> Brad do you have any issues with " burn in " on your plasma?
<KnaveBrad> nope
<JoshtheRipper> kool
<JoshtheRipper> How well does it handle blacks
<KnaveBrad> I have it bolted to the wall, so they can't really take it without some serious work

[skeletor]

Found some more good ones:

%^tiNee^ takes aubz credit card and slides it between aubz's butt cheeks
[%^tiNee^] *denied*
[&goat] what do you mean denied
[&goat] aubz' ass takes everything

PROTOtype2k6: Hey Fel you know the difference between Michael phelps and Hitler?
Felathan: no clue proto.
PROTOtype2k6: At least Michael Phelps could finish a race.

Dun fck wit meh: when muslim women come to my door i talk to them through the mail slot, see how they like it

<Goatroper> so i had a checkup at the doctor a couple months ago
<Goatroper> i waited in the goddamn lobby for like 2 hours
<Goatroper> i was just starting to doze off when they called me back into one of the exam rooms
<Goatroper> so i sit on this chair for like 30 more mins, and then fall asleep
<Goatroper> i wake up and have no idea what time it is or how long i've been waiting
<Goatroper> so 20 minutes later after I finished reading the Hispanic Business Weekly
<Goatroper> I start diggin through the drawers in the exam table and his desk drawer
<Goatroper> i find some hypos and don't touch them, some dressing gowns, and then i get to the drawer marked "OB/GYN"
<Goatroper> i open it up, take a peeky-peek inside, and what do I see? Speculums and rectal dilators.
<Goatroper> At this point I'm in his desk rolly-chair
<Goatroper> with about 40 rubber gloves in my pockets for later use
<Goatroper> so I grab a speculum in each hand
<Goatroper> and start making them sing and talk like little ducks
<Goatroper> i was rooting around for a sharpie and couldn't find one
<Goatroper> so i put them down and did my glove-trick
<Goatroper> i stretched a rubber glove over my head and blew it up
<Goatroper> then i grabbbed the speculums and started spinning around in his chair
<Goatroper> glove inflated on my head the size of two basketballs
<Goatroper> speculum in each hand
<Goatroper> spinning in his office chair
<Goatroper> i hear footsteps and as i'm extending my legs to slow down, the door opens
<Goatroper> the doctor is standing there with my chart in his hand
<kr0nus> omg
<Goatroper> i stopped spinning and just sat there, looking at him through the thin film of the glove
<Goatroper> he was like "Corey.....?"
<Goatroper> I said "Yep."
<Goatroper> held up the speculums.
<Goatroper> said, "I got bored."
<Goatroper> and he was like "That's quite a trick with those gloves. Where did you learn that?"
<Goatroper> I said "Many doctor's offices in many states."
<Goatroper> He was like "You want to take some with you?" as I got up
<Goatroper> I pulled the wad out of my pocket and said "Already did."
<Goatroper> then I walked out and i heard him laughing like a goddamn maniac as soon as the door was closed
<Goatroper> then the other day i go in again rofl and he just hands me a brand new unopened box of 100 gloves
<Goatroper> i was gonna ask for some speculums just to fuck with him but I was afraid he'd give me some

<broox> so my speakers haven't beeen working for a while
<broox> they were plugged into the mic port
<npl> umm, i think they are color-coded
<broox> haha, i know
<broox> i usually just reach back there and guess which hole it is
* npl has set the topic on channel #cell6 to <broox> i usually just reach back there and guess which hole it is

<N> which is correct, seven and five IS thirteen, or seven and five ARE thirteen?
<Joker> Neither.
<Joker> Because it's twelve.

<Casey8> Diana Ross' husband died
<Tarrier> how
<Casey8> fell while climbing in South Africa or something
<JennAway> that's sad
<Bubbaprog> i guess there is a mountain high enough

[BloFeld]

I like this 1

JstWnnaHveFuN08: do you think i should call a guy friend and talk to him about my problems? or will he not care?
Thilo: Here's how it works: if a guy helps you with your problems, you're obligated to give him a blowjob.
JstWnnaHveFuN08: lol thanks that cheered me up
Thilo: No problem. That'll be one blowjob please.

[skeletor]

Found another one:

<Ubik> speaking of Jenga, it's the 1-year anniversery of 9/11 tomorrow