Why I am the unluckiest person I know

[Revolver]

So, I've taken to playing Golf quite well. Enjoying it, and playing fairly regularly now. Plus its safe right? It's not exactly rugby is it. Here's my weekend.

Saturday, Leicester Forest East Golf Course

Hole 1, my mate hits left of the green into a ditch/pond/mud pit. I can see his ball so went to get it for him by reaching with my club. Meanwhile said friend attacks a wasps nest... Oh dead, they went fucking mental. His clubs were swarmed which was fucking hilarious, i wish i'd got a picture. All well and good except one wasp decided to make a bee (haha!) line for me and kamikaze'd at my head from 20ft. Landed smack on my right ear and stung me the little fucker. It swelled up a treat so it must have stung me more than once or something. Little fuck. I smacked it off my ear anyway and stamped on the bastard, so won't be doing it again. No one else gets stung though, just me... Typical.

Eventually, about an hour later, managed to retrieve my mates clubs, finish the hole and get round the course, took us about 4 hours to do 9 holes (spent some time on the driving range before hand as well though) cos of some fucking wasps. My ear is still itching a bit but hey, its only a wasp sting, at least i'm not allergic.

Sunday, Blaby Golf Course

I was 2 over par off the first 2 holes, then we let 2 guys behind play through since we were holding them up. Hole 3. The three of us tee'd off, not bad shots. Not great either. Walking down the fairway towards my ball and BANG, thats a bit of a pain smack on the top of my. Hole 8 comes back up the side of hole 3, and some twat managed to hit his tee shot left onto our fairway and the ball cracked me on the head. Fucking made me jump thats for sure, had to ring an ambulance cos blood was pissing out all down my head. Then the paramedic doing the little check things jammed her fingers in my neck (which obviously hurt a bit) so she's all like "neck pain! ooh we're gonna have to put you on a board and collar". I mean talk about taking the piss its only my head bleeding.

Turns out it wasn't that big a cut but it needed glueing cos it wouldn't stop bleeding. Apparently I will get headaches for the next few days but they should go soon.

So that is why I'm the unluckiest person i know.

[skeletor]

Sorry Rev. You can't blame me but I am laughing.

Hope your "neck" feels better soon.

[BlacKBlazE]

And this is why i don't play golf

[skeletor]

I'm going to down the range with my dad at some point. It's quite good for stress relief.

[Revolver]

Sorry Rev. You can't blame me but I am laughing.

Hope your "neck" feels better soon.

Nope i've been laughing about it too

Seriously, what are the chances?

I'm going to down the range with my dad at some point. It's quite good for stress relief.

It's not like boxing where you pummel the shit out of something, you can't swing with anger or aggression it just won't work. But it is calming somehow. Probably better than a round of golf cos if you make a bad hit at the range you jsut go again, on a round you need to go and find it and get yourself out the shit lol.

[skeletor]

I can hit the ball in anger perfectly fine. Trying to hit it normally is hard.

But what I meant was it is quiet and outside, it's just relaxing.

[sparksy]

[PooNTaNG]

You sure there were no pakis involved rev?

[NItro{IRE}]

i quote family guy " im not going to get short by touch ing the ball with your midet spit on it am i? "

[Revolver]

You sure there were no pakis involved rev?

I was waiting for this. It was a group of paki's playing the 8th yes lol.

They wouldn't admit to it so my mate says. One of them was bouncing around typical wigger style grabbing his balls with one hand and swinging the other arm about "No way could av been me man, my was hit straight and true innit"......

Then eventually one of them owned up.

But yes, paki's can't play golf, what were they thinking? Go back to the cricket pitch