Constipation

[Revolver]

I shit you not I haven't had a fag since the 3rd September. And for all the shit I so easily get to come out my mouth, getting a turd out my ass is completely the opposite!

If there was one thing I could always be relied upon for it was to take a regular dump. Now I can't do that! Some days I don't even take a shit, and the days I do, it's such a struggle that if I go for a shit at work my boss thinks I've quit my job because I'm away from my desk so long. It's so uncomfortable sitting there needing to shit. So I have to go toilet and force it out! They just don't appreciate the effort it takes to squeeze a turd out at the minute.

Need some suggestions that aren't laxative. I'm eating properly healthy, maybe too healthy?! I just want a good old clear out!

[skeletor]

Fibre. More importantly insoluable fibre.

So whole grain foods, bran + wheat, celery is good I think and bananas.

Also minimize protein intake (eggs, meat) as it makes your shit hard and make constipation worse.

And a big fucking lol.

[Revolver]

Fibre. More importantly insoluable fibre.

So whole grain foods, bran + wheat, celery is good I think and bananas.

Also minimize protein intake (eggs, meat) as it makes your shit hard and make constipation worse.

And a big fucking lol.

I would hardly say I'm low on fibre but I do eat a lot of eggs. Well, 2 a day usually in scrambled egg form. Though this morning was a 3 egg omelette.

Maybe I should have a bowl of sultana bran to go with it!

I'm glad you laugh may as well have some jokes from it hahaha!

[skeletor]

I have 2 eggs every morning too but also a bowl of branflakes to even it out.

Regular as clockwork, every morning just before work.

[Revolver]

I have 2 eggs every morning too but also a bowl of branflakes to even it out.

Regular as clockwork, every morning just before work.

I prefer to go at work though. It's like an extra break. We only get 30 mins lunchbreak all day so I reckon I am entitled to it

[skeletor]

Unfortunately the mens toilet at my work doesn't flush properly/strong enough.

I think it is set stun rather than kill.

There was "toiletgate" 2 years ago after someone just started leaving it there in the bowl nice and proud.

[METRIC]

[sparksy]

bananas.

eggs

both of these bind you up.. especially eggs. take a cod liver oil capsule.. then have a bowl of all bran for breakfast. brown bread sanwiches for lunch..and something with salad/fruit for tea.... and drink plenty of fluid..not tea/coffee.. i mean water. within a couple of days you will be shitting bricks... iguarantee it.

i find stella makes me shit violently after about 4 pints the next day...

iahve the other extreme were the lash always keeps things... loose

[Revolver]

bananas.

eggs

both of these bind you up.. especially eggs. take a cod liver oil capsule.. then have a bowl of all bran for breakfast. brown bread sanwiches for lunch..and something with salad/fruit for tea.... and drink plenty of fluid..not tea/coffee.. i mean water. within a couple of days you will be shitting bricks... iguarantee it.

i find stella makes me shit violently after about 4 pints the next day...

iahve the other extreme were the lash always keeps things... loose

I'm rewarding my exceptional (by my standards) run this morning with a few beverages at the comedy club tonight. A bit of a curry pre comedy might help out as well!

I'm so glad I made this thread. It's just funny to read. And Sparks post made me crease in actualt fact helping to squeeze a brick out at the same time. We need a :thumbup: smiley

[skeletor]

Any updates on this?