Too be sure

[PooNTaNG]

Two Irish men walk into a pet shop. Right away they go over to the bird section. Gerry says to Pat "Dats dem". The clerk comes over and asks if he can help them. "Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere birds in dat cage up dere" says Gerry, "Put dem in a peerper bag". The clerk does and the two guys leave the shop. They get into Gerry's van and drive for two hours until they are high up in the hills and stop at the face of a cliff with a 500 foot drop.
"Dis look loike a good place, eh?" says Gerry. "Oh yea, dis look good" replies Pat.

They flip a coin and Gerry wins the toss.

"Hail fockin Mary, I guess I get to go first, eh boy?" says Gerry.

He then takes two birds out of the bag, places them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff. Pat watches as his mate drops off the edge and goes straight down for a few seconds followed by a "SPLAT".

As Pat looks over the cliff he shakes his head and says. "Fock dat, dis budgie jumping is too fockin dangerous for me!"

Specially for our friends from over the water

[BlacKBlazE]

Lmao made me laugh anyway

[skeletor]

LMAO

[METRIC]

An Irish man, English man and a Scottish man are walking along a beach when they find a lamp. The Scot picks it up, rubs it and out pops a Genie. Seeing as how there is 3 of them the Genie gives them only 1 wish each.

The scot says ’ok, i want enough money to keep me happy for the rest of my life, so the Genie snaps his fingers and the Scots man has an unlimited bank balance.

The english man says, ’i’m sick of all the fucking bastards coming into my country and taking our women and jobs, i want you to put a big fuckin wall around England so no foreign bastards can ever enter England again, i’ll be happy to never enter England again, so long as i know it’s protected. So the Genie snaps his fingers and a wall 1000ft high and 250 ft thick springs up around the whole of England. Nothing can get in or out again.

The Irish man says to the Genie, are you sure that wall around England is strong and NOTHING can escape? The Genie replies, ’absolutely, nothing will escape’. So the Irish man replies ’ok then, fill the fuckin thing up with water’.

SPECIALLY FOR MY DEAR IRISH WANNABE poon

[PooNTaNG]

God metric your such a racist!

[METRIC]

[skeletor]

Man 1: "2 Jews walk in to a bar"
Man 2: "No, you can't say that"
Man 1: "What don't you let Jew's in your bars? Racist"

[PooNTaNG]

An irish father catches his son snorting a line of charlie.

"If i catch you doin that agin boyo, ill rub your ferkin nose init!"